John 15:9-14: Real Love

John 15:9-14

One of the things that makes Jesus such a powerful leader for us is the fact that he had the ability to clearly and simply articulate the heart of God what God desires for us.

In this passage he makes it very clear that God’s deepest desire is that we become showcases of his love by loving one another and staying in his love.

But Love is a word that is greatly overused in our world today

It has also become very misunderstood.

One day in my office I got a cal from a worried mother of a young man who was seriously going off the rails and she was worried about him and his girlfriend and could they come see me. So this young couple came and sat down in my office. She had a black eye and bruises on her arms. He was hungover and feeling guilty.

I told them that the best thing they could do was break up until they could grow up and I told the young man that he was totally out of line and needed to leave this girl alone.

They looked shocked and then the young man said we can’t break up. I aksed why and he said, Because I love her.

I looked at the girl and asked her if she felt that he loved her and she said yes. And I told them that this was proof that they didn’t understand what love is and should not be in a relationship until they did.

What love is not.

Love is not something a person falls into, Holes are what people fall into.

Love is not something a person can fall out of, trees and boats are what people fall out of.

But not love.

We can possible fall into infatuation, attraction and even desire but we don’t fall in love.

Love is not a feeling, Love is a choice.

The choice to put someone else’s best ahead of your own.

I love my children, but at three o’clock in the morning when I’m shocked awake by my child who is violently ill and throwing up all over me as I carry them to bathroom and then have to clean up the mess. I am not feeling good feelings. But I am definitely loving my child.

See when Jesus doesn’t command that we feel good about each other, or that we commit ourselves to making each other feel good, as nice as this is, Rather he says “my command in that you love one another.”

He goes on to clarify it by saying, “greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”

Love is a laying down of our selfishness or ego, our agendas in order to care for someone else. Putting someone else first.

Now does this mean we become a doormat for people. Sometimes that’s what love looks like. And those times can have some of the most powerful affects.

Story os St. Telemachus Telemachus was a monk that lived in Asia in the fourth century. He felt an inner voice from the Lord to go to Rome, but didn't know why. He went anyway. He saw crowds going into the Coliseum, so he followed. He saw two gladiators fighting to the death, so he jumped down and tried to stop them but he kept getting knocked down by the gladiators. On the third time one of the gladiators ran his sword thru Telemachus and for the third time said "In the name of Christ, forbear", then he died. As the crowd saw Telemachus lying there in a pool of blood, there was silence and one by one the Coliseum emptied. Never again was there another gladiator fight. His one act of love ended the horror of gladiating.

But other times it means engaging in conflict and confronting people like I did with that young couple.

Or a the example of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr in his fight for justice and civil rights in the USA, or for that matter his namesake Martin Luther who launched the protestant reformation of the church.

Love always involves an action, or in the words of Author Gary Chapman, “Love is not a noun but a verb.”

So what is the opposite of love?

Some say Hate, I disagree, hate at least denotes a passionate care for something.

Some say fear is the opposite of Love? This idea has more merit but I have loved people that I was afraid of. I used to do prison ministry and one day I was called visit with a man who had brutally murdered somebody and didn’t seem that sorry for it. I went to him because I was motivated by God’s love but I was afraid.

I believe the opposite of love is apathy. Where you just don’t care.

Like you are numb to anyone else’s needs.

Becoming numb is easier than you think.

Jesus said, in Matthew 24:12, “due to the increase of wickedness in the world the love of many will grow cold.

We must fight to keep our love alive, this is the greatest struggle for the Christian.

This is why the most dangerous thing a Christian can do is settle for going throiugh the motions of being religious.

God puts people and situations into our lives as opportunities to love, whether it is our children, our spouse or our workmates or friends.

Sometimes the people that bother us the most are actually gifts from God to help us grow in our love.

I will close with this story I read in that world renown publication, the coffee news.

For the first time in her life Western Oregon university’s Sara Tucholski hit a homerun over the fence against Central Washington University. She passed first base on her way to second when she collapsed. Something in her knee had snapped and she couldn’t run, she tried to get up and fell again in agony. None of her teammates could help because if they touched her she would be counted out. That’s when her opponents from Central Washington picked her up and carried her around the bases and across homeplate costing them the game. She said, my whole team was crying. It touched a lot of people.

This is what love looks like.

We are given a reminder of this every time we take communion.

Today let us take some time to reflect on our own lives and where we might be struggling to love.

What are the opportunities God has given us?